This Blog Is For Women

So, I have been thinking about why we sometimes struggle with sticking with a healthy lifestyle or any important life mission, for that mater.

One key factor in struggle is trying to “go-it-alone.”    The Beatles said it best:  I get by with a little help from my friends…gonna try with a little help from my friends.  My Mom used to tell me when I was a kid that “birds of a feather flock together.”

We all need support and encouragement, and good examples. Seeking out people who are after the same thing you are and interacting with them is a sure way to effortlessly move in the right direction.

This is true in all areas of your life from fitness goals, to work ethic on the job, to saving money, to holding your moral values in check.

Have you ever had a job where everyone you work with complains all day about the boss and the work they have to do?  It’s not long before you might find yourself thinking the same thing.  You started the job with a positive attitude and you personally don’t have any issues with management, but the fact that everyone around you is complaining will leave you a little drained and negative at the end of the day.

This same thing can work in reverse.   Churches have known this for centuries.  They bring like-minded people together to encourage them to maintain their religious ideals.  Seeing others uphold their values encourages people to do the same.

On the flip side of the coin, street gangs create exclusivity and encourage their members to stick together.  This creates a homogeneous group of thugs.  They have an image to maintain and the behaviour of one person affects the image of the group.

So, it should be no surprise that meeting your personal goals can be much easier when you have a peer group with a similar goal.  In fact, you might even find yourself exceeding your original goal if you have a community of like-minded people all working along toward their own related goal.

Friends who are actively following the primal blueprint can encourage you by:

1. being examples of success,
2. recognizing your efforts (and sacrifices,)
3. giving you ideas,
4. sharing recipes,
5. recommending websites,
6. sharing stuggles and needing your encouragement,
7. bringing paleo/primal friendly food to gatherings,
8. not distracting you or tempting you with foods from the SAD,
9. giving you someone to walk with or get out in the sun with,
10. having someone to set an example for – you know they’ll know if you cheat!
11. making you laugh… and we all know how important that can be!

You can do it!  You know you can, and so do we.

I am looking for a group of people to share my primal journey with, and I think since you’ve read this post that you are one of them.  Can you help me along my way? Just making a comment or suggestion on this blog post, or any one that strikes your interest.  Together we can give each other a bit of encouragement and be better than we ever would be on our own. Weight Watchers does it, book clubs do it.  We can do it too!

Commenting is easy just scroll down a little(!) you’ll find the reply box, or the tiny little comments link.  Be the first to add something.  Even just a little “hello.”

Thanks

~Lisa

You would be surprised how much help kids can be.  Here are some of the chores my 2 boys help with. They are currently 8 and 12.

Either boy can do these:

• vacuuming
• dusting
• mirror/window washing (high traffic areas like entryways and kitchen)
• sweeping
• mopping
• emptying dishwasher
• sorting laundry

Team jobs:

• transferring garbage from small bins to bags
• bathroom cleanup and details (the younger one does picking up. mirrors and floors, the older one does the toilet, tub and sink.)
• running laundry – they sort together, tag team the transfers, and work together to hang and fold.  (I do my own laundry, so there’s no worry of damage to a special item.)
• putting out/pulling in the trash cans or compost bins. (One child can do it alone, but they manage better together for some reason.)

I didn’t have a fancy gadget like this for potty training. But, I’m sure this would do the trick for any child old enough to pull the cord!

If you enjoyed this article you might also enjoy:

• Eye Contact
• Love and Rules
• The Importance of the Couple Bond
• What are you Paying For?  Allowances for Young Children
• How Much Help?
• Three Piggy Banks

It’s always nice to have people give you positive reinforcement.    Last week at gymnastics when the boys were getting their street clothes on.  The instructor waved me over to speak with him.  I don’t know him at all, but the kids like him and they seem to be learning lots.

He wanted to thank me for enrolling my boys in the program.  (They just started taking gymnastics at the end of the summer.  I was tired of worrying about the  possibility of them breaking their necks while trying to learn to do “flips” on their own without proper instruction or a spotter.)

I told him a dutiful “your welcome” and expressed that they enjoyed themselves and were learning lots from him.

He went on to say that he wanted to tell me personally how much he appreciated their influence on the class.  He told me that they are always in good spirits and keen to work hard and that he really liked their presence because they were able to keep the boys in the group focused and on-task.

“They’re great!” he said.  ”They cheer the other boys on, and urge them to try harder.  And the best part is when some of them start to act up and get  a bit silly, they’ll say something like ‘come on guys…let’s smarten up, we’ll get more turns on tramp if we listen to Ted.’  I don’t even have to say a thing.  I’ve never seen anything like it.”

A proud mama moment for me, indeed.

The boys had participated in the gymnastics summer camp program for a week.  I signed them up late, sort of on a whim.  They enjoyed the first week so much that I looked into getting them in for a second week.  It was booked of course.  So, I left my name and number with the desk in case anyone cancelled at the last minute, they wrote my name half way down page two of the waiting list.   I told the boys not to expect to get in, since it was full with a long waiting list.

When I got home, 15 minutes later,  there was a message for me to call the camp coordinator.  She told me that she had made space for the boys.  She said that there wasn’t really room, but that they were such good kids that they would be “easy extras” to have.

Proof yet again, that if you’ve got a positive attitude and are well-behaved you’ll get more opportunities.  It really all does boil down to Love and Rules.

Both parents are partners in parenting.  I know thisblogisforwomen…so men probably won’t be reading it.  But, I do believe that we teach people how to treat us.  And, if we want to have an equal partner we have to be an equal partner.  This means that we have to carry our half of the load.  And we have to expect the other partner to carry their half.

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By being partners we gain so much.  The children are a project that we work on together.  We should make decisions together about our objectives.   Do we want them to be followers?  Do we want them to be leaders?  The world needs both kinds of people.  Do we want them to follow their heads or their hearts?  Do we want them to be obedient or defiant?  Do we want them to be respectful?  Do we want them to be kind?  Do we want them to be helpful?  To we want to shelter them or let them fend for themselves? What kind of friends do we want our kids to keep company with? It’s important to discuss values with your partner in parenting.

We also share more than parenting roles.  We demonstrate adult behaviours and interactions to our children.  Do we want them to grow up to find a mate that they fight with routinely?  Do we want them to have their own interests and hobbies when they are adults?  Do we want them to see that each parent is a complete individual with unique gifts and talents or that there is no I in team?  By demonstrating cooperation, compromise, independence, support, vulnerability, love and responsibility in the home we are modelling these things to our future adult children.

Showing your children that you are part of a successful adult partnership is the way to teach them to find one for themselves one day.  Regardless of your situation.  I don’t live with my children’s father.  We were married for 17 years but for the last 3 we’ve been separated. We are still able to demonstrate to the children that we work together for the greater good that is our family.

If you enjoyed this post you might also enjoy Believe in your own Authority and I’m Sorry I Can’t Understand What You’re Saying