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When should children start formal schooling?
As late as possible, according to Canadian psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld. A recent article published by the IMFC (Institute of Marriage and Family, Canada) Dr. Neufeld explains how attachments to peers can cause a plethora of problems which may not be recognized until later in life when the affects of the peer attachment develops.
Neufeld suggests that sending young children to daycare because it will help them overcome shyness, or get along with others, or in fact because the child “loves to go and spend time with her peers,” is the wrong thing to do. Read the rest of this entry →
OK, so this article in the British Daily Mail has said everything I was thinking about the Hunger Games. Essentially that teens process images they create in their minds by reading text in a different way than they process larger than life on screen images. And the difference is not a good one.
The Hunger Games
There is a movement and outcry *thank you* to have the movie’s rating upgraded to 15A. I believe this is as it should be.
While there are children in the real world we live in who are forced to fight in wars and who are victims of other atrocities there is no need for us to “entertain” our young precious minds with this type of film. We get only one opportunity to be a kid. Do we really want our youth to grow up faster than necessary and jaded by violence and killing as entertainment?
Are we no better than The Capitol? What is our society coming to?
Kids know when something feels bad. And, sometimes it’s easier to say their parent “won’t let” them than it is to admit to their peers that they don’t feel comfortable in a situation. When peer pressure reaches that point where the group rule is the bottom line, kids need an out.
If you let your kids know that they can use you as an out for uncomfortable situations you have given them the opportunity to avoid dangerous or unethical situations.
If your child is too old for the whole “I’m not allowed” scenario– Let’s face it peers will be scathing when they perceive that adults are in control of what otherwise would be a peer-driven situation — then you can set up a texting code. (You might this this is goofy, but if you recall peer pressure can feel awfully threating.)
Jenna texts you and says:
Jenna: Hey Mom, I’m out with the gang. be home by 11″ (which is within curfew.)
The code word is “gang.” This prompts mom to text back that Jenna must come home immediately.
Mom: Sorry Jen, we need you to come home ASAP. We’ll pick you up in 5 minutes. Where are u?
If anyone asks to see her phone, Jenna hasn’t done anything wrong….no one can say she’s a sissy, or a cry baby, or that her Moommmy won’t let her do anything There’s nothing in the messages that implicates Jenna or her Mom. And the reason to come home is not any specific one, so there’s no ruse or lie.
You can set up your own code word, but it works best to find one that will blend into any text. It could be as simple as using the word “not” as a clue that the answer should be “no.”
Jeff: Can I stay overnight at Pete’s or not?
Mom: Sorry not tonight.
If Jeff wanted Mom’s true answer, because he actually wanted to stay at Pete’s he would text: “Can I stay overnight at Pete’s tonight?” This way Mom can just answer yes or no, depending on circumstances.